the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
