why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
