Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Randomize
