Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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