sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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