Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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