I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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