im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
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I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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