BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
