I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
