hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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