Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
