belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
