so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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