And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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