apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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