I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
