did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
