How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
