Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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