Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
