So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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