sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
