yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
