Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
