I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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