Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
