No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize