Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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