so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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