I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
