meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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