Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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