doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
