I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
