I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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