I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
