seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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