I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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