Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
