SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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