I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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