We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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