She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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