I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
