i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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