I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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