i jhust puked up my retainher.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize