Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm both gender and math confused
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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