Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
