I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
