if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
