the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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