I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
