I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
