Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
