dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They took my balls.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize