he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
