maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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